Tragic story’s ending to be happily ever after Gift of life

Written by Mike Kelly
Omaha World-Herald
8/7/2008

In tragedy, a Nebraska couple donated their 2-year-old son Matthew’s liver — the first liver transplant from Nebraska.

A team from the UCLA Medical Center arrived at Children’s Hospital in Omaha in 1984, picking up the precious cargo. It was taken to California, where a 14-month-old named Lily, her stomach distended like a watermelon, lay days from death.

She lived, and “Baby Lily” became part of the lore at the Nebraska Organ Recovery System in Omaha. Her photo looks out from a wall of history of transplant surgery — along with a photo of Matthew Bemis.

Nearly a quarter-century later, Matthew’s parents, Milt and Janet Bemis of David City, Neb., will attend a big event Friday: the wedding of “Baby Lily.”

“I know I’ll cry,” Milt said, “but it will be for joy.”

Janet said she and her husband naturally will think of Matthew, “but this is Lily’s day. It’s a whole new chapter in her life.”

Lily Mandel will marry Brian Allen in upstate New York, near Syracuse. She said by phone this week that she picked the date for a reason: It’s the 24th anniversary of her transplant.

“Brian and I started dating on my 18th birthday, May 19,” Lily said. “I’ve always considered August 8th my ’second’ birthday.”

She wouldn’t have made it even close to her actual second birthday if not for the Bemises’ donation of Matthew’s liver. His corneas and other organs were donated to others.

“I am so fortunate that I had a second chance at life,” Lily said. “One donor can help so many recipients.”

The Bemises were visiting Hawaiian Village, the residential area south of Papillion, when Matthew fell into the lake. Crystal Stara, his sister, recalls looking out a window as her beloved little brother was pulled out.

“That picture never erases,” she said. “I was 10, and I remember adults pulling him onto a little dock. I could see that he was a grayish-purple. As a mom now, I don’t know how my parents went through that.”

CPR was performed, and he was taken to a hospital. He was on life-support for three days, and Janet was holding him, knowing he would not live.

To Milt, she quietly said, “I wonder if we could . . .”

“Donate?” he asked, completing her thought.

The world’s attention was on the Los Angeles Olympics, but some doctors in L.A. focused on Baby Lily, whose liver was filled with tumors. When they learned that a child in Nebraska was near death from drowning, calls were quickly made. The Bemises said yes.

The 10-hour transplant operation at UCLA succeeded, but life expectancy at the time wasn’t great.

“Very few places in the country were doing livers,” said Karen Risk, executive director of the Nebraska Organ Recovery System.

The federally licensed Nebraska system was incorporated in 1977. Since then, the system has counted 977 organ donors from Nebraska. Among them are 624 livers.

One donor can help up to eight recipients. People can register to donate at www.nedonation.org.

After Matthew’s death, Milt and Janet Bemis became advocates for organ transplants, speaking often.

They met Lily and her parents a year after the transplant. When Lily was 5, she and her family visited Nebraska.

The families lost touch for several years, but daughter Tiffany Bemis (now Maly), who was 6 when Matthew died, had to go to upstate New York several years ago for her work. She met Lily and had a wonderful time, and returned to New York a year later with Crystal.

“Lily is petite and always has a smile,” Crystal said. “She is just sweet, and her name fits her perfectly.”

Lily has a degree in business management and works at an animal clinic. Brian, her fiance, works in digital radiography. They will honeymoon in Hawaii.

Milt and Janet met the couple a few years ago in Washington, D.C.

“They really liked Brian,” Lily said. “That meant a lot. Their opinions are almost as important as my parents’.”

Crystal and Tiffany will join Milt and Janet at the wedding. (The Bemises also have a son Jared, a starter on David City Aquinas’ 2006 state championship basketball team.)

Recipients don’t always communicate with donors or donor families. Milt said he is dedicating this trip to all who have donated loved ones’ organs but “don’t have the opportunity to see the joyful ending of their tragic stories.”

Lily is grateful the Bemises will attend her wedding, and is grateful for their gift of life. If she ever has a son, she said, “his middle name will be Matthew.”

 

 Gift of life
Donations from Nebraska since 1977, when the Nebraska Organ Recovery System was launched. Some donors have given multiple organs.
Organ donors - 977
TRANSPLANTED ORGANS
Hearts - 287
Lungs - 143
Livers - 624
Kidneys - 1,644
Pancreases - 26
Intestines - 18
 
First kidney recovered - 1977
First liver recovered - 1984
First heart recovered - 1985
First pancreas recovered - 1989
First lung recovered - 1990
First intestine recovered - 1997
Source: Nebraska Organ Recovery System

Contact the writer
444-1132, michael.kelly@owh.com